I Don’t Want You Kids Anywhere Near Me

I react to kids at work like I do not want them anywhere near me, I am noticing a lot lately. I am not a very friendly teacher maybe, to the kids who like to be friendly to substitutes, apparently. I was kinda a “bitch” I think, today, I hope the kids didn’t feel like I was being mean to them personally. Because I walked away from a few kids today and refused to take an interest in what they were so eagerly trying to show me. No interest from me at all…except to say, “Well, whatever that is…if it means that much to you, why don’t you share it with the whole class…” They were out of a latge group of kids who were in the seats closest to the board, in the very front of the class..kids who were already seated at the front of the class, and had already been having way too much fun all period, compared to everyone else…

“They already know what it is, and they have all heard about it before”, one of the outgoing students said.

To which I replied, “You have a nice time then doing it at your seats instead of over here with me… as I am walking all around the room moving things from one place to another, okay? (nonverbally)” More or less, is the point I was trying for them to get. Besides which, I wanted them to see, I was in the middle of doing something, and obviously it wasn’t a good time for them to get me to listen to a topic that would be as unrelatable to me as it could possibly be…I made up my mind in advance…my attitude was set … I don’t relate to them on purpose, sorta, about the stuff that I refuse to …anything unrelated to what I bring up, or their teacher would bring up, and they are surprised, whenever they start treating me like I am one of them.

It is difficult to relate to them, and them to me, actually, a lot. Unless, it is about facts from the books, or “lessons in class” type stuff. Or something that is humorous and makes everyone think, or laugh! I am good at that… Which means they are always the ones who will be more brainiac than the teacher who just walked in that day to sub for them… and a good audience when I have something to say they need to hear … I will make them laugh when I get an opportunity…as they are usually a good audience. Kids know more of the subject matter than me when they are a good students in their high school classes, most likely. Personally, if they think that I am are going be friendly to talk to, then they are too nice. Because, not or never, do I think it is appropriate to do.. with out permission, at least, to talk to me about anything that wasn’t about their work, especially. like today…I didn’t even care what it was about. I was rude, actually. If you really think about it..after the fact, I worried it seemed I was stuck up …I wasn’t trying to be rude on purpose…I never do that to anyone. Okay, I do, on occasion. Sorry…but, that’s because I make it humorously rude; not just rude. .

Later the class was again, in the mood to have too much fun, be friendly, all at once, with each other out loud…and I tried to control it so as to not feel I wasn’t doing my job. And, not to get any kids mad at me…I have a good attitude towards everybody…treating them all equally as meanly as I do to the rest of the class…and act fairly… making sure it was appropriate… and not allow them to become too loud and disruptive; to be able to do their assignments by themselves or others…efficiently. That is when I ask volunteers to go up in front of the class and share with everyone what they have finished so far…before the period ends…teach the rest of the class how to do it , in case they didn’t understand it, for examole…or just share some of the things they are talking about up in front of the class while the whole class listens. Because, it quiets the whole class. Why not have them share the stuff that they wanted me to hear all about…and I told them by my attitude, somehow, to tell them to back away and move over to leave me some room….I am sending the message to them I don’t want them anywhere near me….it is true. Because I cannot stand it when I have kids all focused on grabbing my attention and taking it all towards them for one thing or another …unless they want help with their assignment and are sitting in their seats politely. I have a problem with that. I would rather they get it from the whole room, if it is that important to them that they have to be out of their seats and not sitting down.
I do this a lot. Poor kids… because later on…I shoulda gone back and reminded them to share whatever it was they were trying to tell me about from earlier today in class…but I didn’t think about it. I was too busy juggling all kinds of stuff we didn’t need to talk about with each other that really wasn’t necessary to begin with, while the class was ending. And making myself seem more friendly towards them than I thought I had been earlier… Remind me to make up my mind first, to stop myself from sending kids coonflicting messages that they are gonna get confused about…they should just know I am a “bitch” and follow my rules and I should just not worry about it if I am one…as long as they respect me and do not notice me anyway, just notice how well they are all acting when they are around me. And I not be a wish-wash…YUCK!

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